so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
