Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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