my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
