what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I touched a dick in church today
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
