Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
