"it" just moved
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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