I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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