the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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