Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
