is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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