I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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