Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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