i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
