The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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