We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
