I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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