ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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