he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
