cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
