whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
