i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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