I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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