My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
