Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
