He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
