My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
