I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
