if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
