Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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