Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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