she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
