A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
