David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
