God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
