Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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