Whod you bang
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
