is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
