considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A bitchslap is in order.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
