so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
