i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
