I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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