I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
