I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
