just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize