Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
COCAINE IS GR8
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
