Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
