Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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