I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
