After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
