I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
