so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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