took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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