youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is Oprah even human
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
