Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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