That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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