It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
