Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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