So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
