Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
