That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
