Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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