who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
