what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just google imaged poop.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
